God and My Mother

To deliberately follow Jesus begins with a simple question: how would you define your relationship with God?  But when first posed, this may seem like a complicated question to answer.  What exactly does a relationship with the God of the universe look like?  And how should we pursue it?

It can be helpful to think about our human relationships, such as with  our parents.  When I think about my strongest, deepest relationship, I think of my mother.  She is someone I know I can go to with any problem.  I like to tell her what is going on in my life, even the small things.  My mom knows everything about me, and she cares what happens to me.  She shows me how much she cares in different ways: by listening to me when I feel low (when I am having trouble with friends or work), reminding me to make responsible decisions (such as checking my car fluid before I take a trip), by asking me to come home and visit (even when she saw me the previous weekend).  

Our relationship with the Lord can be similar.  Our Heavenly Father loves to listen to our troubles and worries when we come to Him in prayer.  Saint Peter instructs us, “Cast all your anxiety on Him, for he cares for you” (1 Peter 5:7).   And like a parent, the Lord sends us reminders (i.e. convictions) through the Holy Spirit. Jesus said to his disciples, “I have said these things while I am still with you.  But the Advocate, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name, will teach you everything, and remind you of all I have said to you” (John 15:25-26). Lastly, we physically visit with Jesus through the Eucharist at Mass and Adoration. According to Jesus, “Those who eat my flesh and drink my blood abide in me, and I in them” (John 6:56).  These are three simple ways the Lord shows His love, and yet it can be easy for us to ignore the relationship He calls us to.

When I think about my relationship with God when I was a teenager, I struggle to define it.  I know that I believed in Him, but perhaps I took Him for granted.  When we are teenagers, we are seeking our own independence.  Though we rely on our parents for essentials like food, clothing, shelter, and even rides to school, talking to them is not one of our priorities.  We are seeking friends our own age and our own interests, although these relationships can be troubled because they lack the understanding and patience that our parents possess.

My relationship with the Lord in high school was like that–present, but distant.  I spent more time on my friends and my own interests, rather than pursuing a relationship with God.  Even so, I can see the ways that He blessed me.  Because I struggled to make good friends when I was younger, I know that my mom prayed for me not only to have good friendships, but also godly friendships.  And though I experienced drama in middle school and high school as anyone does, all of my friends were strong in the faith and encouraged me to cultivate my faith as well.

Although my mother and I didn’t talk as much when I was in high school as we do now, she demonstrated her love for me through silent actions, helping me to cultivate my talents.  In music, she accompanied me on piano through competitions and pushed me to get in the church choir.  She also made sure I had time and space to write, seeming to understand how it fed my soul.

The Lord was feeding my gifts during this time as well, partly by working through my mother.  He also provided opportunities for me to pursue music and writing in different ways, even when I experienced creative disappointments.  When I later desired to grow closer with God as a young adult, I was ready for Him to use these gifts that he had given me for His good.

My mother endured the distance between us as I pursued independence, went away to college, and decided on my career path.  Now that I am an adult, our relationship is on more even ground.  We can discuss certain topics that would not have been possible when I was a child or even a teenager.  More important, we can simply enjoy being together now that I am at an age where it is socially acceptable for me to hang out with my mom.

In the same way, the Lord has been waiting patiently and joyfully for me to sort out my life and return to Him.  Now that I can see the ways He was working in my life, I yearn to have a full relationship with Him.  One way I have sought Him has been to establish a prayer routine, so that I make sure to talk with my Heavenly Father every day.  Other ways have been to seek Him in everyday life, to learn more about Him through study, and to serve Him in my church community.

My mother knows everything about me because I am her daughter, but I still have more to learn about her.  After all, she lived for nearly three decades before I was born.  Over time she has told me stories from her past that have both surprised and encouraged me, and I love to learn more about her.  

And it is the same with the Lord.  The Lord knows even more about me than my mother does, because He created me.  The more I come to know Him, the stronger my relationship with Him will grow.  But given that He is also the Creator of the universe, His wealth of experience is far greater than mine will ever be.  That means there will always be more to discover, and there always be a way to draw closer.  

As I am my mother’s child, so too am a beloved daughter of God. My relationship with my mom, though human and imperfect, shows me how to pursue a holy one with Him.  This relationship involves not only listening and spending time with Him, but understanding the ways He has stayed by my side and always will.